Nostalgia Critic Top 11 Movies Ill Never Review
" data-paradigm-caption="
The Nostalgia Critic reviews Michael Bay's "Pearl Harbor." Courtesy of Channel Crawly.
" data-medium-file="https://indieoutlook.files.wordpress.com/2014/02/nostalgiacritic-nostalgiacritic.jpg?w=300" data-large-file="https://indieoutlook.files.wordpress.com/2014/02/nostalgiacritic-nostalgiacritic.jpg?w=470" class="size-large wp-image-916" alt="The Nostalgia Critic reviews Michael Bay's "Pearl Harbor." Courtesy of Channel Awesome." src="https://indieoutlook.files.wordpress.com/2014/02/nostalgiacritic-nostalgiacritic.jpg?w=470&h=207" width="470" height="207" srcset="https://indieoutlook.files.wordpress.com/2014/02/nostalgiacritic-nostalgiacritic.jpg?w=468&h=207 468w, https://indieoutlook.files.wordpress.com/2014/02/nostalgiacritic-nostalgiacritic.jpg?w=150&h=66 150w, https://indieoutlook.files.wordpress.com/2014/02/nostalgiacritic-nostalgiacritic.jpg?w=300&h=133 300w, https://indieoutlook.files.wordpress.com/2014/02/nostalgiacritic-nostalgiacritic.jpg 620w" sizes="(max-width: 470px) 100vw, 470px">The Nostalgia Critic reviews Michael Bay's "Pearl Harbor." Courtesy of Channel Crawly.
Laughter is one of the not bad gifts man beings can give to one another. There'southward something cathartically rejuvenating about beingness doubled over with guttural chortles while witnessing a peerless satirist tackle cinematic miscalculations of a colossal magnitude. Few people take fabricated me express joy more than Doug Walker. His long-running web show, "Nostalgia Critic," is the MacBook Generation'due south reply to "Mystery Science Theater 3000," and has provided fans with weekly doses of hilarity over the past six years. Blending inspired gags with insightful commentary, each episode features Walker every bit the titular critic, whose formidable rage at ineptitude suggests Armond White by way of Daffy Duck.
I've watched every single ane of the Nostalgia Critic's reviews, dating all the style back to "Transformers: The Picture" on Apr half dozen, 2008. All of them are available on Walker's site, ThatGuyWithTheGlasses.com, which likewise showcases the work of diverse online entertainers and film enthusiasts around the earth. The appetite of Walker and his team at Channel Awesome, Inc., has only grown over the years, resulting in epic undertakings such as musical reviews ("Moulin Rouge") and priceless glory cameos (Mara Wilson's vengeance-fueled advent in Walker's "A Simple Wish" review is a flat-out classic). Walker has even succeeded in skewering films that he genuinely likes, such as Steven Spielberg's "Hook."
In honor of the Nostalgia Critic'south upcoming anniversary, Indie Outlook is ranking the Top eleven Nostalgia Critic Reviews, complete with links to the total videos and memorable quotes from the NC himself. Why Summit 11? Because, as a wise homo once said, "I like to become one step beyond."
11. The Room (2003) July 13, 2010
No modern bad film is as phenomenally successful, universally dearest and endlessly entertaining as Tommy Wiseau's painfully earnest relationship drama, reportedly filmed "with the passion of Tennessee Williams," but lacking all of the aforementioned primary's talent. Since this is i of the outset recent films reviewed on the show, the Critic ends up traveling to a postal service-apocalyptic time to come (overrun with flying seahorses) in club for the picture to register equally properly nostalgic. The trip was well worth it, considering how the Critic's reactions to every squirm-inducing scene are as uproarious equally the pic itself. Though Wiseau initially ordered for the video to be taken down, information technology has later been praised by "Room" co-stars Juliette Danielle and Greg Sestero, the latter of whom was interviewed on an episode of Walker's series, "Close Up and Talk."
"You didn't know it was him? You lot didn't recognize the v-pes, girly-haired French zombie until he took off his sunglasses?!"
10. How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000) Dec 16, 2011
Many critics couldn't resist reviewing Ron Howard's holiday turkey in the rhyming poetry favored by Dr. Seuss, whose poetic genius and anti-consumerist message were sullied past this gloomy slapstick-laden do in wretched backlog (though Jim Carrey absolutely earns a few genuine laughs amidst all the shrill desperation). The Critic puts his peers to shame past delivering his entire 20-infinitesimal review in the form of an epic Seussian rhyme, and it'southward a masterwork in its own right. He fifty-fifty manages to rhyme some of the selected clips he'south chosen, non simply from "The Grinch," only from other yuletide perennials, such as "National Lampoon'due south Christmas Holiday." I believe Seuss would've appreciated the moment toward the cease where the Critic is forced to confront the voices of those who actually like Howard's "Grinch," causing him to ponder the true meaning of criticism.
"Ugggh…Really? We're letting the deviling sing hither?/It sounds like something that came out of Charlotte Church's rear."
nine. Superlative 11 Drug PSAs June 22, 2008
I of the great pleasures of "Nostalgia Critic" is how information technology sheds light on obscure oddities so listen-boggling in their wrong-headedness that yous can barely believe that they actually exist. That's especially true of the number ane pick on this listing ranking the top xi funniest vintage drug public service announcements. Every single ane of them is worth a wait, from the Lynchian head-scratcher featuring a immature John Michael Higgins to the unsettling and arguably racist clip of a drug dealer morphing into a satanic snake. Yet it is the acme video chosen past the Critic that acquired me to laugh so hard that I practically hyperventilated. I wouldn't cartel ruin the surprise, though allow me to simply say that information technology stars an '80s-era celebrity who is the last person on earth i would ever expect to be a serious spokesperson against drug utilise. Information technology must be seen to exist believed.
"Expect at this show and tell me that it isn't somehow inspired by an illegal substance."
8. The Christmas Tree (1991) Dec 24, 2013
Proficient animation is so hands taken for granted. Replicating human emotions in drawings that must mimic the rhythms of organic motion is no easy task to reach, a truth that becomes readily apparent when faced with an animated train wreck like Flamarion Ferreira's 45-infinitesimal cartoon, rightly dubbed by the Critic as the worst Christmas special ever made. The comparisons that accept been made between this staggeringly inept travesty and "The Room" are entirely justified, since the animators and voice-over actors prove to be entirely incapable of delivering annihilation resembling a convincing operation. When two parents learn that their daughter has fallen off a cliff, their faces remain catatonic while their eyelids slide slowly upwardly and then down once again. It is the animated equivalent of Wiseau's infamous non-performance in "The Room."
"I'one thousand going to bank check with the doctor and see if I am clinically nonetheless alive."
7. Casper (1995) October twenty, 2009
Speaking of cartoons, Walker and his squad have proven to exist remarkably skilled at incorporating blithe characters into episodes that heighten the comic timing of various gags (I loved the exasperated tumbleweed that rolls through the comedic dead zone of "Good Burger" earlier stomping off the set). Nevertheless the NC's finest accomplishment in blitheness remains the foul-mouthed Casper (voiced by Walker) who accompanies the Critic during his review of Brad Silberling's alive-activity reboot. Though I enjoyed the film equally a kid, this review reminded me of just how over-stuffed information technology is with lazy cultural references, and just how piffling temper or tangible awe it contains. Walker's Casper actually turns out to have far more personality and edge than his generic doppelgänger in Silberling's film, particularly when he tries to school the Critic in the art of comedy.
NC: "That's not funny."
Casper: "Oh please!…Do you know what the pure essence of all one-act is?"
[long pause]
NC: "And so they become into the house where they're suddenly greeted by—"
Casper: "TIMING!"
six. The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978) Dec 22, 2009
My favorite Christmas nowadays that I've ever received from the NC was his review of the spectacularly ill-advised Television special that George Lucas has tried and failed to hide from the public. Featuring the main cast members of "Star Wars," exuding all the holiday cheer of condemned prisoners, this badly dated variety show continuously halts its flimsy storyline (nigh Chewbacca traveling back home to celebrate "Life Day" with his obnoxious family) with awful musical numbers and irksome comic routines from Harvey "Stir Whip!" Korman. The high point turns out to exist Bea Arthur as a singing bartender whose cantina is shut down past the Empire. This leads to a marvelous sketch consisting of re-edited footage from "Return of the Jedi" and inspired phonation-over work from Walker'due south brother and shut collaborator, Rob, in which the Emperor reveals his Bea Arthur fixation to Vader.
"This is wrong…this is a Holocaust of wrong."
v. Signs (2002) June 12, 2012
After existence floored by his one (and doomed to be just) masterpiece, "The Sixth Sense," I clearly retrieve straining to like M. Night Shyamalan'southward shoddy sci-fi thriller in the theater, looking past its awkward dialogue, ludicrous plot and lifeless performances in order to enjoy its fitful bursts of well-crafted suspense. Yet the Critic's review set me direct on how this inexplicably praised embarrassment was the harbinger of all the dreck to follow. Shyamalan'southward script reaches Tarantinian levels of indulgence, while his pedestrian camerawork pans back and forth so ofttimes that Walker accentuates information technology with a hilarious sound effect. Notwithstanding what's funniest of all is the sheer idiocy of the aliens, who tin't even manage to open up a door, every bit illustrated in a hysterical flake of vaudevillian vocalization-over work. In the words of MST3K's "Mitchell," "Oh no—a door! I didn't programme on this!"
"Patently the only matter that can kill the aliens is water…Probably should've idea that through before attacking a planet More often than not COVERED IN WATER!"
4. Dawn of the Commercials November 12, 2013
Upon the Nostalgia Critic's rebirth after a cursory retirement, Walker sought to include sketches in his long-form reviews that spotlighted the comedic work of sidekicks Malcolm Ray and Rachel Tietz. They were a welcome addition to the show, though in my opinion, their contributions were never given a better showcase than in the NC's anticipated return to spoofing commercials, mocking everything from passive-aggressive baby dolls to pompously patriotic pancakes. Yet the biggest laughs in this video occur in the sketches themselves, bolstered past some of the all-time writing on whatever Nostalgia Critic episode. Tietz, who recently left the show, had ever sported a rubbery-faced exuberance rivaling that of Kristen Wiig. Her brilliant skewering of sickeningly shallow "Milk" ads and her portrayal of a horny witch (who hits on Greg Sestero) are a joy to behold.
"Milk: Because personality should come—never."
3. The Garbage Pail Kids Movie (1987) March eleven, 2009
Picked past Walker every bit the worst film he's ever forced himself to sit through (thus far), Rod Amateau's grotesquely bottomless kid'due south movie is most equally easy to stare at for a prolonged amount of fourth dimension as the sun. Based on John Pound's playfully gross trading cards, this unseemly trash heap is populated by costumed actors with immobile animatronic faces and charming names like Valerie Vomit and Greaser Greg, who carries his ain pocket knife (how beautiful!). In the middle of this mess is "Facts of Life" star Mackenzie Astin, who looks about a decade younger than his assigned beloved interest, despite the fact that they're only a yr apart. On the creepiness calibration, this slop is off the charts. On the scale of ingenuity, few NC sequences crush this review'southward operatic finale, in which the film's cataclysmic repulsiveness fractures space and time, sending the Critic through a "2001"-like wormhole toward an excremental fate.
"Beauty has always been in the optics of the beholder, and anyone who has eyes tin can clearly come across that they are ugly as sin."
2. Pearl Harbor (2001) February 19, 2013
Rarely has the NC'southward anger at offensively bad filmmaking resonated on such a raw and rousing level than in his bruising takedown of Michael Bay'due south cocky-congratulatory bore. Instead of focusing primarily on the titular attack, Bay devotes much of his moving picture's screen time to a childish honey triangle, while reducing the real-life deaths of thousands of Americans to exploitative activeness carnage. Clearly offended past Bay's tone-deafened posturing, the Critic delivers an exhilarating rant that comes off equally startlingly heartfelt, chastising the director for his irresponsible propagandizing sensationalism. Intercut with the review is an extended sketch that deftly satirizes Bay'due south masturbatory approach to storytelling, with Walker (every bit Bay) paying spirited homage to Tim Burton'due south "Ed Wood" (click the above title for the unedited review). 1 of the finest examples of a Nostalgia Critic review functioning triumphantly well every bit both comedy and critique.
"When you take information technology upon yourself to represent something that really happened, and it'due south still painful and hurts a lot of people, that means you have to do ii things: ane. Y'all have to abound up and be an adult, and 2. Yous have to represent these people every bit best as humanly possible, y'all son of a B—CH!"
1. Titanic: The Legend Goes On… (2000) March 24, 2009
Here it is, folks: the Nostalgia Critic review that turned me from a casual fan into a lifelong devotee. Apparently mistaking the plot of James Cameron's "Titanic" as a fictional melodrama with no ties to historical events, Italian director Camillo Teti decided to cash in on the mega-blockbuster's success past making his own kiddie version, an blithe musical complete with plagiarized Disney characters and a detestably happy catastrophe. Teti also idea information technology would exist a practiced idea to take a scene where a mouse is saved by a dog that materializes out of nowhere and proceeds to rap, "Information technology's Party Time!" Information technology's impossible to gauge only how much laughter this single video has brought to me over the years. Though the NC later unearthed another blithe version of "Titanic" that he claimed was even worse (and, in some ways, it inarguably was), null, for my money, tops the deplorably hellacious barbarism of the rapping canis familiaris.
"Waaaaah, I lost my ball! This is the worst possible thing that could happen to me on this trip!"
For the complete list of Nostalgia Critic videos, click here.
Source: https://indie-outlook.com/2014/02/05/top-11-nostalgia-critic-reviews/
0 Response to "Nostalgia Critic Top 11 Movies Ill Never Review"
Enregistrer un commentaire